“A difficult conversation tends to go best when you think about it as a just a normal conversation,” says Weeks. You’re not telling your boss: no you’re offering up an alternate solution. For instance, you’re not giving negative performance feedback you’re having a constructive conversation about development. Instead, try “framing it in a positive, less binary” way, suggests Manzoni. ![]() If you’re gearing up for a conversation you’ve labeled “difficult,” you’re more likely to feel nervous and upset about it beforehand. ![]() Here’s how to get what you need from these hard conversations - while also keeping your relationships intact. The key is to learn how to handle them in a way that produces “a better outcome: less pain for you, and less pain for the person you’re talking to,” he says. After all, tough conversations “are not black swans,” says Jean-Francois Manzoni, professor of human resources and organizational development at INSEAD. Perhaps your boss lashed out at you during a heated discussion or your direct report started to cry during a performance review maybe your client hung up the phone on you. “We’ve all had bad experiences with these kind of conversations in the past,” says Holly Weeks, the author of Failure to Communicate. How should you prepare for this kind of discussion? How do you find the right words in the moment? And, how can you manage the exchange so that it goes as smoothly as possible? Difficult conversations - whether you’re telling a client the project is delayed or presiding over an unenthusiastic performance review - are an inevitable part of management.
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